So I'll cut the lies, because I probably won't post often at all once school starts. Oh stop it, this hurts me more than it hurts you (not really).
So what happened since last Friday...? Oh yes, the tree chopping fiasco of Saturday morn.
I suppose I'll start from the beginning. Russell Melland is a wonderful guy in the U3 singles ward. One day at work, Russell gets friendly with a client who shares her woeful tales of mid-summer yard care in southern Arizona, and he gets to thinking, "Yard work is tough on a adult female, but it's no problem for young 20 year old guys right!?"
Wrong.
Then Russell starts rounding up a crew to help out this nice lady and I am just as eager to help out as a dog who sees a leash in hand. So I offer my services in exchange for a carpool to this woman's dwelling place. Along the way, we discuss the vague details Russell had been given concerning the type of assistance we would be giving. As I understood it, there was a tree to be removed, probably no larger than an old sapling, maybe some hedges to trim, grass to mow, and possibly some cows to milk or sheep to shear. You know? the basics of homeownership...
And then we pull up to the place.
Not only is all of the landscaping in the style of southwest desert (i.e. rock everywhere, extremely low maintanence), but the "sapling" was a 40 foot behemoth whose leaves seemed to emit audible laughter at us when the breeze blew. Not surprised, and with unshaken constitution, I retrieved approximately 3.57 dynamite sticks from my backpack, placed the charges at the base of the tree, recited the twelve points of the scout law like a good eagle scout (making sure to mention the motto, something about being prepared if I remember), and then I huffed, and I puffed, and I BLEW THAT TREE UP!!!
Okay you win, the last half of that paragraph was complete and utter absurdity. However, the fact remains that we had this 40 foot tree to tackle with a ladder, rope, and 16-inch chainsaw. So I set up shop with the ladder at the base of this tree and Russell is all too excited to hop on up and take the chainsaw to that first major limb while I steady the base. As the chainsaw cuts threw this wood like butter, I realize that the limb is going to snap off backwards toward the ladder. Too late. It snaps and hits the ladder, shaking it while Russell is standing above me with a chainsaw... this looks bad. But it turned out fine so we clear that limb away from the tree and head up along the trunk toward the top of the tree.
By this time, some pedestrians stop across the street to watch us college kids take on mother nature. And at that point, I was pretty nervous because when you gain an audience, that means these spectators think that maybe there is a good chance for some entertainment, namely the mangled bloody gore of a chainsaw falling on my skull. No big deal right? Anyway, before we start cutting the next limb, Brennan shows up.
I love Brennan, and so that's why Russell and I decided to have him cut the next limb from the top of the ladder. Some say this is because he wasn't jaded from the near catastrophic events of the first limb, I say it's because there was absolutely no way I was going to cut it. HAHA! I won this round right? Wrong again. For some reason I had ended up stabilizing the ladder again. Also, Brennan was comforted by the fact that there was a trampoline he could bail out onto if need be. In my mind, the fact that a flying chainsaw could be involved, completely counteracts any safety bonus offered by an elastic jumping apparatus. Needless to say, the branch hits the ladder again I envision a gruesome death involving Brennan throwing the chainsaw onto the trampoline which bounces it into my (gorgeous) face. But all was well.
Now at this point, we've just gotten borderline cocky. Also, I don't believe anyone was in control anymore, there was just like this mob mentality that was like "AWW YEAH, WE'RE GONNA MURDER THIS TREE!" The intense bloodlust was apparent to "Nice Lady" that we were helping who was obviously at like 1000 points on her "nervous-o-meter". So we tie a rope to the next limb and cut through that one while pulling the limb away from the house with the rope and praying that it doesn't fall on her house. Alright, so we're three for three.
Now, Russell just hops off the ladder at the tree's canopy. He is not on the ladder anymore, he is freestanding in this tree where the top most branches are. Easily 30 feet in height. NBD... And he just chops down two more limbs. At this point, it's 11 o'clock. We've been here since 8 in the morning andLauren and I have to get to work at noon. Sidenote, Lauren has been cracking jokes about this tree all morning and it's just been hilarious. She's funny.
Anyway, tensions are high, we are going to get this tree cut down to size before we leave. So Russel makes this plan to finish up, and Brennan and I think he's gonna start taking down the trunk in sections which makes perfect sense in this residential area. Oh what's that Russell? We're just going to go at it near the base now? Haha, okay buddy right behind you... heaven knows we haven't pushed our luck enough today.... Keep in mind, this tree is still 40 feet tall, albeit very much naked, but still 40 feet. It's obviously between two and three feet in diameter at the base and we have a 16-inch saw. What's the worst that could happen? I won't tell you...
So Todd Balls (Yeah, that's his last name, get over it) is now cutting out this wedge at the base of the tree when Brennan, Lauren, and I decide it's time to take off. So we peace out with half of the base of this tree gone. At church the next day, I ask Russell how the rest of it went and he informs me that the tree is still standing, stable, and that they left about a half hour after we had.
Moral of the story: Haha, yeah, like you could learn anything useful from this...
Anyway, so the score stands at:
Tree: 1 Rag-tag team of determined young men: 1/2 (of a tree base, to be exact...)
That was Saturday. We've got seven more days to cover, let's go...
Actually, I didn't do too much the rest of the week. As far as mission papers, I just need a stake president interview now. For those of you curious, I really don't care where I go, I just want to go foreign speaking. Hopefully a useful foreign speaking mission, and preferably Spanish. That's all I have to say about that.
Chloe moved in on Friday! I mean, to her apartment in Tucson for school at the U of A. It's gonna be a great semester, but I see I'm going to have to babysit her for a little bit. She is so helpless... but hey, What're you gonna do? I got the brains, she got the looks.
Anyway, we're back in Yuma now for the week. Fawn is getting married on Friday at the Newport, CA Temple. I'm so excited for her because she is absolutely the most gorgeous bride slash worst wedding date chooser ever. Seriously, school starts next Monday. I'm not going to enjoy the weekend as much as I could have. It's just so cool though because she is marrying her best friend from high school and we all grew up in the same ward together and it's like we're already one giant family anyway. I'm just so happy for her. But it makes me wonder why I have such relationship issues... whatever though. This blog isn't about me, it's about you.
So my brother gave me a look of disgust today when I told him I'd never played The Oregon Trail. Apparently it's a right of passage for anyone born from between 1970 and 1990? Whatever, I'll get around to it I guess. There's still time.
I had this idea in my head that I was going to get so many books read this summer that I've been meaning to get to, but I actually just finished my first one this morning. So that was an epic fail. However, if you were at all curious, Teaching of the Presidents of The Church: Joseph Smith is an absolutely spell-binding read. It was just a compelling book through and through. I won't reveal any spoilers though...
Also, my Linear Algebra professor has taken it upon herself to get the semester's work started already. I have homework due the first day of class : \ So I started reading my textbook to refresh my knowledge, and this math textbook reads like a novel! I love it! The character development is simply A+, there's just so many ways to relate to "x" (Haha, math jokes...) At least I think school is going to go well this semester, again. I think I have a good attitude about it.
Anyway, I'm here in Yuma for the week with nothing but Chile Pepper and Mostly Muffins to console me. Also, we're heading to California early to hit the beach and Knott's Berry Farm before the wedding day as if that could possibly make up for this prison of exile. My life is so difficult. So I guess this should hold you over for a while... Hopefully funny stuff keeps happening to me so I have entertaining material to right about. Thanks for reading!
Deuces
*disclaimer* Despite the overwhelming sense of apathy throughout the "tree failing" ( <-- that right there is an ingenious pun on the activity known as tree felling.) story, I am extremely grateful for service opportunities and had a blast at that adventure. Also, Russell is a great guy. Super cool...
Monday, August 15, 2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
I'm Turning Into One of Them...
I swore I wouldn't be like those people that make a blog and go strong for a few days and then a year later it's still that same post. So let's do this!
Okay, so last Saturday it was just another do-nothing-chill day at work until...... one of my co-workers was playing this little time waster called Bejeweled 2. Now, I have definitely heard about this little gem of a game (haha, see what I did there? "gem") but I had never actually played it. I was immediately addicted. I mean, at least at work, I have real stuff to do when I'm at home (e.g. Rock Band). Anyway, it soon came up that the furthest any of us cashiers had ever gotten was to level eleven. Challenge accepted. I'm happy to report that by Monday's eve, my eyes had been graced by the view of what is none other than the level sixteen view. 'Nuff said.
Now, work is a little ironic because I usually get staffed at the customer service counter, and I like to think that I am the least qualified student employee for that job because I simply have an extremely low tolerance for... I dunno.... people? Anyway, use either of these phrases as a "conversation" starter when walking up to my register and you will have immediately ticked me off.
Phrase 1: "Well you just look so bored/You look like you need something to do!"
Oh, so you're the knight in shining armor come to rescue me from the tower of nothing-to-do? Go have someone else ring you up, I'm playing Bejeweled.... What do you want me to say?
Phrase 2: "You just look so excited to be here!"
I know, similar to phrase 1, but even just reading this text, I know you can feel the words drenched in last decade's sarcasm. I'm obviously not excited to be here because now I have to ring up your useless junk that you absolutely must have while convincing you that my job is fun and that my life is at least satisfactory. Are you gonna use that razor blade? Because if you don't stop trying to salvage this conversation, I will.
Oooo, that was dark. Sorry.
Enough of work. Wait nevermind. One more story. So, because I work at the BookStore, I get to "borrow" my textbooks for the semester. Anyway, I really love to go downstairs and walk down aisles of print gathering bundles of pulp that bring me such joy. Not. So I pre-ordered them so that they would all be pulled for me and I could just come in one day and pick them all up and put it on my book loan account. Sounds reasonable right? WRONG! The BookStore is unreasonable. Turns out, if you pre-order your textbooks, they must charge your student account in order for the books to be pulled. Whatever, I obviously want to cancel that order right? A simple call to the friendly textbook department should patch things up in a jiffy. What do you mean you have to transfer me to another department? You guys are the textbook department, you're filling the orders, cancel mine! Anyway, the phone was not picked up at the location I was transferred to. So I take of business the Bert Grabinger way. Here's where it gets real... Yeah, I sent a very polite email with my full name and NetID so that they could cancel my order at their earliest convenience. Done deal. I hope.
But this brings me to some email issues I've recently encountered. A U of A staff listserv thingy got hacked yesterday and an extremely offensive email was sent out to almost EVERYBODY. Needless to say, if you got an email with a subject line about some goat man or whatever, DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, OPEN IT. I swear, there are just some things you cannot "un-see." Best of luck to all of you.
My other run-in with electronic communication this week was a little less unnerving, but still depressing. In our Priesthood Quorum, we're working on this covert operation to contact everyone whos records we have in the ward in an attempt to clean them up before the semester starts. I got paired up with one, Brennan Kartchner, a loveable goofball with a taste for flashy rock and shocking theatrics. I took it upon myself to break down our unfortunate assignee's first wall of defense... with a non-agressive email. I simply explained the situation to these people in the most polite of tones. Of course, I got about half of them to respond, however, one lady was out of control rude. She basically clawed out my hope for humanity with her vicious, vicious words. Of course, I was nothing but polite in my response but in my mind I was like, "Lady, where do you get off? I don't know you, you don't know me, how could you harbor such prejudice?" But then again, I don't pretend to understand anyone's circumstances. All I'm saying is, One of my relatives better have killed one of your relatives long ago and you recognize my last name. That is the only reason such sass could even be remotely appropriate.
Enough of internet injustice. Let's talk about real justice. That's right, I'm talking about Batman Begins. My praises can not even begin to do that film justice. It's truly a masterpiece. Anyway, my friend, Amy, had never seen it, or the Dark Knight for that matter (I know right!? I was like, OMGwherehaveyoubeenliving?underastupidrock?) So we watched it. Afterward, I walked home. Let me paint a picture for you. It's midnight, I live in a sketch part of town, I just watched Batman. Oh yeah, you but I searching to take on any group of bloodthirsty thugs I can lock eyes with. But alas, not a soul was to be found on my walk home. Not even a car drove by. Whatever. I heard people closing doors and locking them as I walked by anyway. They were so scared.
I made a new friend tonight! JK, it's an old friend, but now we're besties. This girl, Luna, is literally in love with me. Who can blame her? Anyway, she could basically have any old pick. Seriously, she is absolutely gorgeous, and playful too. I don't know why she would even pay any attention to me... especially after my history with her owner. Oh yeah, Luna is a dog. Anyway we just bonded after watching The Dark Knight at Amy's and she would curl up in my lap, I would pat her head, she would paw my fingers, I would lick her fur... you know. Cute, cuddly stuff. I'm really happy we finally made a connection because when we first met, she would bark at me all the time. It got pretty annoying. But I guess I grow on people. Dogs too.
I'm going to try to share funny quotes from my life because they are just too good to pass up. So in closing, here ya go.
Sean: "What's purple in Spanish?"
Amy: "Lilac?"
Bert & Kirstin: ".... : \" <----- We said that.
Deuces.
Okay, so last Saturday it was just another do-nothing-chill day at work until...... one of my co-workers was playing this little time waster called Bejeweled 2. Now, I have definitely heard about this little gem of a game (haha, see what I did there? "gem") but I had never actually played it. I was immediately addicted. I mean, at least at work, I have real stuff to do when I'm at home (e.g. Rock Band). Anyway, it soon came up that the furthest any of us cashiers had ever gotten was to level eleven. Challenge accepted. I'm happy to report that by Monday's eve, my eyes had been graced by the view of what is none other than the level sixteen view. 'Nuff said.
Now, work is a little ironic because I usually get staffed at the customer service counter, and I like to think that I am the least qualified student employee for that job because I simply have an extremely low tolerance for... I dunno.... people? Anyway, use either of these phrases as a "conversation" starter when walking up to my register and you will have immediately ticked me off.
Phrase 1: "Well you just look so bored/You look like you need something to do!"
Oh, so you're the knight in shining armor come to rescue me from the tower of nothing-to-do? Go have someone else ring you up, I'm playing Bejeweled.... What do you want me to say?
Phrase 2: "You just look so excited to be here!"
I know, similar to phrase 1, but even just reading this text, I know you can feel the words drenched in last decade's sarcasm. I'm obviously not excited to be here because now I have to ring up your useless junk that you absolutely must have while convincing you that my job is fun and that my life is at least satisfactory. Are you gonna use that razor blade? Because if you don't stop trying to salvage this conversation, I will.
Oooo, that was dark. Sorry.
Enough of work. Wait nevermind. One more story. So, because I work at the BookStore, I get to "borrow" my textbooks for the semester. Anyway, I really love to go downstairs and walk down aisles of print gathering bundles of pulp that bring me such joy. Not. So I pre-ordered them so that they would all be pulled for me and I could just come in one day and pick them all up and put it on my book loan account. Sounds reasonable right? WRONG! The BookStore is unreasonable. Turns out, if you pre-order your textbooks, they must charge your student account in order for the books to be pulled. Whatever, I obviously want to cancel that order right? A simple call to the friendly textbook department should patch things up in a jiffy. What do you mean you have to transfer me to another department? You guys are the textbook department, you're filling the orders, cancel mine! Anyway, the phone was not picked up at the location I was transferred to. So I take of business the Bert Grabinger way. Here's where it gets real... Yeah, I sent a very polite email with my full name and NetID so that they could cancel my order at their earliest convenience. Done deal. I hope.
But this brings me to some email issues I've recently encountered. A U of A staff listserv thingy got hacked yesterday and an extremely offensive email was sent out to almost EVERYBODY. Needless to say, if you got an email with a subject line about some goat man or whatever, DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, OPEN IT. I swear, there are just some things you cannot "un-see." Best of luck to all of you.
My other run-in with electronic communication this week was a little less unnerving, but still depressing. In our Priesthood Quorum, we're working on this covert operation to contact everyone whos records we have in the ward in an attempt to clean them up before the semester starts. I got paired up with one, Brennan Kartchner, a loveable goofball with a taste for flashy rock and shocking theatrics. I took it upon myself to break down our unfortunate assignee's first wall of defense... with a non-agressive email. I simply explained the situation to these people in the most polite of tones. Of course, I got about half of them to respond, however, one lady was out of control rude. She basically clawed out my hope for humanity with her vicious, vicious words. Of course, I was nothing but polite in my response but in my mind I was like, "Lady, where do you get off? I don't know you, you don't know me, how could you harbor such prejudice?" But then again, I don't pretend to understand anyone's circumstances. All I'm saying is, One of my relatives better have killed one of your relatives long ago and you recognize my last name. That is the only reason such sass could even be remotely appropriate.
Enough of internet injustice. Let's talk about real justice. That's right, I'm talking about Batman Begins. My praises can not even begin to do that film justice. It's truly a masterpiece. Anyway, my friend, Amy, had never seen it, or the Dark Knight for that matter (I know right!? I was like, OMGwherehaveyoubeenliving?underastupidrock?) So we watched it. Afterward, I walked home. Let me paint a picture for you. It's midnight, I live in a sketch part of town, I just watched Batman. Oh yeah, you but I searching to take on any group of bloodthirsty thugs I can lock eyes with. But alas, not a soul was to be found on my walk home. Not even a car drove by. Whatever. I heard people closing doors and locking them as I walked by anyway. They were so scared.
I made a new friend tonight! JK, it's an old friend, but now we're besties. This girl, Luna, is literally in love with me. Who can blame her? Anyway, she could basically have any old pick. Seriously, she is absolutely gorgeous, and playful too. I don't know why she would even pay any attention to me... especially after my history with her owner. Oh yeah, Luna is a dog. Anyway we just bonded after watching The Dark Knight at Amy's and she would curl up in my lap, I would pat her head, she would paw my fingers, I would lick her fur... you know. Cute, cuddly stuff. I'm really happy we finally made a connection because when we first met, she would bark at me all the time. It got pretty annoying. But I guess I grow on people. Dogs too.
I'm going to try to share funny quotes from my life because they are just too good to pass up. So in closing, here ya go.
Sean: "What's purple in Spanish?"
Amy: "Lilac?"
Bert & Kirstin: ".... : \" <----- We said that.
Deuces.
Friday, July 29, 2011
T-Town Beatdown
So obviously I'm back in Tucson. Unfortunately, I'm also back in my work/play routine so not much exciting has happened...
Monday was pretty cavalier. I went to work, pit my co-workers against each other and puppeteered a small war until my shift was over at which point it was basically time for FHE. I can't even begin to describe the stunning event that FHE was. We watched a film production of The Prophet Joseph Smith's life that can be found on the mormonchannel youtube channel. It was really excellent because it cut out much of the really well-known events and really introduced you to the man, you know? Also, there was pizza.
Afterward, I met with my bishop to continue what's become a really long and drawn out process of completing my mission papers. I really love meeting with him though cause he's pretty funny and full of wisdom. Often brother Foss (our second counselor) will stop by as well and he's a real hoot. Anyway, a secret was revealed to me... but I can't let you know 'til after Sunday. That was about it for Monday.
Tuesday was the one day I had off of work this week and it was fabulous. I got up bright and early by 9:30 and spent most of the day practicing guitar. I'm determined to really get better. Already I've shown improvement by practicing my scales and jamming with some backing tracks. I'm excited!
Okay, so Wednesday was pretty fun though. After work and all, we mingled around trying to get something to happen, and we ended up at Safeway to get a movie. But then we got ingredients for the most delicious pie ever. Oreo pie crust, Ghiradelli Brownie Mix, and Chocolate pudding. By the time that piping hot brownie had made sweet messy love to my chilled pudding, it was in my belly and I could feel myself getting fatter. I have never more enjoyed the movie Easy A. I love the main character's unrelenting wit and general apathy. It's really inspiring. Anyway, my friend Justin, a devilishly handsome young man with classic good looks and a sporty style, was relating a conversation with his current ladyfriend where a roller-blading date had become a hot suggestion. He was concerned that he would have to longboard alongside her in the absence of necessary implements. In short, I am now attempting to acquire a pair of my father's blades so that this date can play out the way we all imagine it would according to every romantic comedy we've ever seen, namely, they can hold hands as they skate. I'm such a good friend.
Fast forward to Thursday evening. Pizookies. That's right, the delicious dessert that is half-baked Nestle Tollhouse cookie topped with vanilla ice cream was enjoyed by all in attendance at my Rock Band get-together. It was a blast. Also, I perfected the last song we played. On Expert. On guitar. And it was a fairly difficult number. No big deal.
Today (Friday) was really neat. My supervisor is out of town until like Tuesday or something so I mostly read my book "Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith" and it is sooooo enriching. I work at a bookstore, so I don't feel too bad about reading on the job. Anyway, I feel like such a sinner when I read it, but it's still uplifting ya know? The coolest part is my co-workers will ask me small questions and whatnot about it, which I enjoy. No one is too interested, but one of the ladies I work with was really excited about it and I told her I'd get her a copy. I just feel happier when I know I draw closer to the words of God and his servants.
I haven't really been in the mood for sarcasm and all that lately so sorry if this post wasn't particularly entertaining. I'll spice it up next time for sure.
Deuces.
Monday was pretty cavalier. I went to work, pit my co-workers against each other and puppeteered a small war until my shift was over at which point it was basically time for FHE. I can't even begin to describe the stunning event that FHE was. We watched a film production of The Prophet Joseph Smith's life that can be found on the mormonchannel youtube channel. It was really excellent because it cut out much of the really well-known events and really introduced you to the man, you know? Also, there was pizza.
Afterward, I met with my bishop to continue what's become a really long and drawn out process of completing my mission papers. I really love meeting with him though cause he's pretty funny and full of wisdom. Often brother Foss (our second counselor) will stop by as well and he's a real hoot. Anyway, a secret was revealed to me... but I can't let you know 'til after Sunday. That was about it for Monday.
Tuesday was the one day I had off of work this week and it was fabulous. I got up bright and early by 9:30 and spent most of the day practicing guitar. I'm determined to really get better. Already I've shown improvement by practicing my scales and jamming with some backing tracks. I'm excited!
Okay, so Wednesday was pretty fun though. After work and all, we mingled around trying to get something to happen, and we ended up at Safeway to get a movie. But then we got ingredients for the most delicious pie ever. Oreo pie crust, Ghiradelli Brownie Mix, and Chocolate pudding. By the time that piping hot brownie had made sweet messy love to my chilled pudding, it was in my belly and I could feel myself getting fatter. I have never more enjoyed the movie Easy A. I love the main character's unrelenting wit and general apathy. It's really inspiring. Anyway, my friend Justin, a devilishly handsome young man with classic good looks and a sporty style, was relating a conversation with his current ladyfriend where a roller-blading date had become a hot suggestion. He was concerned that he would have to longboard alongside her in the absence of necessary implements. In short, I am now attempting to acquire a pair of my father's blades so that this date can play out the way we all imagine it would according to every romantic comedy we've ever seen, namely, they can hold hands as they skate. I'm such a good friend.
Fast forward to Thursday evening. Pizookies. That's right, the delicious dessert that is half-baked Nestle Tollhouse cookie topped with vanilla ice cream was enjoyed by all in attendance at my Rock Band get-together. It was a blast. Also, I perfected the last song we played. On Expert. On guitar. And it was a fairly difficult number. No big deal.
Today (Friday) was really neat. My supervisor is out of town until like Tuesday or something so I mostly read my book "Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith" and it is sooooo enriching. I work at a bookstore, so I don't feel too bad about reading on the job. Anyway, I feel like such a sinner when I read it, but it's still uplifting ya know? The coolest part is my co-workers will ask me small questions and whatnot about it, which I enjoy. No one is too interested, but one of the ladies I work with was really excited about it and I told her I'd get her a copy. I just feel happier when I know I draw closer to the words of God and his servants.
I haven't really been in the mood for sarcasm and all that lately so sorry if this post wasn't particularly entertaining. I'll spice it up next time for sure.
Deuces.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Who Says There's Nothing To Do In Yuma?
Yesterday was great. I got up at 8:00 a.m., which is "sleeping in" for me and then I just lounged around watching cable t.v., making waffles for my siblings and I, and even smoothies! The best part was putting on my "Food Network" personality where I explained step by step what I was making for those kids, what was going in their smoothies, and why it was beneficial.
Example: "...and what these blueberries are going to do, is provide that extra kick of anti-oxidants which will purify the toxins in your body. In turn, you're going to feel lighter, have more energy, and just feel fantastic!"
But then Chloe went to work and I got over that mild depression by calling up my old pals Ryan and Eric. I forget why, but we raged on over to Home Depot to buy some spray rubber dip for Eric's new BMW (okay it's not like, new, but it's new to him). After that, we got crazy stupid on Rock Band cause Eric has every awesome metal song that's fun to play on a plastic guitar, ever. But you can only play video games for a short time before you're bored again, so about 4 hours later we head to my place and strain our brains for nightly activities. And then I remember Jump Up.
Jump Up is a gymnastics and tumbling gymnasium with an assortment of professional equipment such as olympic style trampolines, a large foam pit, and springboarded flooring. You know, real hi-tech stuff not to be operated without exercising extreme caution. So you just go crazy!!! Anyway, we roll up around 8:30 when the place opens and there is a line going outside full of 'try-hards' and 'no-lifers'. Not to be dismayed, we keep our cool and take the party down to the Wetlands Park, which is still the coolest playground I've ever been to.
So Chloe meets up with us at the park and we swing and stuff for a bit, you know, just chill. And then, out of no where, we decide to partake in the latest internet fad and get into some extreme PLANKING! The basic idea is, you lay your body face down in the most conspicuous place possible. Monkey bars, tops of slides, bars, top of the castle... you name it. That playground got planked on. Then we just decide to do epic tag until we sweat harder than an ice cold beverage in a stainless steel cup out in the... yep, Yuma sun. That was basically yesterday.
Today I beat my family to the cock's crow once more and gave my dog, Midnight a much needed bathing. I can't even describe this beast's stench other than maybe if you had once before encountered a small rodent decomposing under you're bathroom sink with a banana peel and leaky pipe... but that's another story. Anyway, once his odor had been taken care of and I had spoonfed chunks of small rodent and banana to him, I set him back on watchdog duty at the front door. But he had nap plans after such an exhausting day. Whatevs. All that was left to do was clean the house, the pool, and my mom's van. With no time to waste, I wasted time until about 9:30ish when I found out about a pool party at Yuma's newest aquatic center located in the valley; aptly named the Valley Aquatic Center. Now, what had happened was, our LDS stake had rented out the facility for the Pioneer Day Celebration!!! I was not too clear on how hot dogs and water slides would help me to appreciate a most dangerous and pious trek across hostile country, but this is America and the party started at 10:00 so I couldn't wait around.
I snatched up my niece, who happen's to be the cutest and wittiest six year old I know (dispute this fact and I shan't hesitate to come after you and you're family [including any six year old nieces]) and we went to get our splash on. Oh yeah, Matthew tagged along too (if you consider driving me and Madelynn to the pool as 'tagging along'). FYI, Matthew is my younger brother. He basically looks up to me as a role model in every way, shape, and form, and does his best to emulate my all-around awesomeness, but I have trouble looking past his short-comings when his goal is obviously greatness. Suffice it to say that our love for each other is as deep and penetrating as his our general disdain for each other. Now you know.
I'll spare you the boring details of how Maddie and I frolicked (Ashley, if you read this... not that kind of frolicking) in the kiddie pool, backflipped off the diving board, soared through the water as would a mermaid and merman pairs synchronized swimming team. Fast forward to home...
Madelynn had a birthday party to get to (hers as it turns out [that's what all the cleaning was about earlier in the day]) so we sped home as fast as Matt could with his training as a sixteen year old permit bearer. Maddie was just so excited to be back at home where she could get her pool party going. Yeah, more swimming. And I love hanging out with her and all her friends so much so Ryan and I went to Eric's to kick it.
Rock Band.
Back to my house as the party wanes and.... ALL THE CAKE IS GONE!!! And it had my favorite buttercream frosting :( I was so upset that I decided to ditch Maddie for the rest of the evening. I just couldn't handle her diva-ness any longer. I think she got the message though because she took all her new toys home with her dad, (her dad is my eldest of siblings, one Joshua Phillip Grabinger, whom is also the swankiest bachelor in Yuma with a quick wit and a slow car) where I know she took time to sit and think about her behavior. Whatever, that party was beat...
So Ryan, Chloe, and I visit the home of the one and only Jenkin Williams. Jenkin is one of the coolest cats in Yuma. With a joke for every situation and Trombone solo to match, Jenkin and I found friendship as co-star players on our U-12 soccer team, coached by Jenkin's own father. Also, we both attend the U of A. Anyway, Jenkin is leaving to serve as an LDS missionary in the arctic regions of Guatemala. We'll miss him and his uncanny knowledge of mormon lore. He's also brown.
Besides that, we just chilled at Jenkin's with Amy Webb, a promising young debutante with an eye for fashion and a body for it too; Chanda Crossman, the bubbliest of comedy connoisseurs and sharp-tongued humor; and Zac Baker......... who I don't know that well, but he's super chill, pretty funny, and we'll throw eye candy in there for good measure. It was a good time.
But alas, plans for Captain America had been made, and I am not one to cancel such a pressing engagement. It was pretty good. But the real treat was the MIND BLOWING TEASER after the credits. Prepare to be avenged people...
After the movie, other plans were shattered to bits as the above group had then decided to also go see Captain America at the next showing. I was not about to "relive the excitement" so soon. So we kinda came home and fell apart. The end. I'm excited for Jenkin's farewell tomorrow though. He's such a boss.
Deuces.
Example: "...and what these blueberries are going to do, is provide that extra kick of anti-oxidants which will purify the toxins in your body. In turn, you're going to feel lighter, have more energy, and just feel fantastic!"
But then Chloe went to work and I got over that mild depression by calling up my old pals Ryan and Eric. I forget why, but we raged on over to Home Depot to buy some spray rubber dip for Eric's new BMW (okay it's not like, new, but it's new to him). After that, we got crazy stupid on Rock Band cause Eric has every awesome metal song that's fun to play on a plastic guitar, ever. But you can only play video games for a short time before you're bored again, so about 4 hours later we head to my place and strain our brains for nightly activities. And then I remember Jump Up.
Jump Up is a gymnastics and tumbling gymnasium with an assortment of professional equipment such as olympic style trampolines, a large foam pit, and springboarded flooring. You know, real hi-tech stuff not to be operated without exercising extreme caution. So you just go crazy!!! Anyway, we roll up around 8:30 when the place opens and there is a line going outside full of 'try-hards' and 'no-lifers'. Not to be dismayed, we keep our cool and take the party down to the Wetlands Park, which is still the coolest playground I've ever been to.
So Chloe meets up with us at the park and we swing and stuff for a bit, you know, just chill. And then, out of no where, we decide to partake in the latest internet fad and get into some extreme PLANKING! The basic idea is, you lay your body face down in the most conspicuous place possible. Monkey bars, tops of slides, bars, top of the castle... you name it. That playground got planked on. Then we just decide to do epic tag until we sweat harder than an ice cold beverage in a stainless steel cup out in the... yep, Yuma sun. That was basically yesterday.
Today I beat my family to the cock's crow once more and gave my dog, Midnight a much needed bathing. I can't even describe this beast's stench other than maybe if you had once before encountered a small rodent decomposing under you're bathroom sink with a banana peel and leaky pipe... but that's another story. Anyway, once his odor had been taken care of and I had spoonfed chunks of small rodent and banana to him, I set him back on watchdog duty at the front door. But he had nap plans after such an exhausting day. Whatevs. All that was left to do was clean the house, the pool, and my mom's van. With no time to waste, I wasted time until about 9:30ish when I found out about a pool party at Yuma's newest aquatic center located in the valley; aptly named the Valley Aquatic Center. Now, what had happened was, our LDS stake had rented out the facility for the Pioneer Day Celebration!!! I was not too clear on how hot dogs and water slides would help me to appreciate a most dangerous and pious trek across hostile country, but this is America and the party started at 10:00 so I couldn't wait around.
I snatched up my niece, who happen's to be the cutest and wittiest six year old I know (dispute this fact and I shan't hesitate to come after you and you're family [including any six year old nieces]) and we went to get our splash on. Oh yeah, Matthew tagged along too (if you consider driving me and Madelynn to the pool as 'tagging along'). FYI, Matthew is my younger brother. He basically looks up to me as a role model in every way, shape, and form, and does his best to emulate my all-around awesomeness, but I have trouble looking past his short-comings when his goal is obviously greatness. Suffice it to say that our love for each other is as deep and penetrating as his our general disdain for each other. Now you know.
I'll spare you the boring details of how Maddie and I frolicked (Ashley, if you read this... not that kind of frolicking) in the kiddie pool, backflipped off the diving board, soared through the water as would a mermaid and merman pairs synchronized swimming team. Fast forward to home...
Madelynn had a birthday party to get to (hers as it turns out [that's what all the cleaning was about earlier in the day]) so we sped home as fast as Matt could with his training as a sixteen year old permit bearer. Maddie was just so excited to be back at home where she could get her pool party going. Yeah, more swimming. And I love hanging out with her and all her friends so much so Ryan and I went to Eric's to kick it.
Rock Band.
Back to my house as the party wanes and.... ALL THE CAKE IS GONE!!! And it had my favorite buttercream frosting :( I was so upset that I decided to ditch Maddie for the rest of the evening. I just couldn't handle her diva-ness any longer. I think she got the message though because she took all her new toys home with her dad, (her dad is my eldest of siblings, one Joshua Phillip Grabinger, whom is also the swankiest bachelor in Yuma with a quick wit and a slow car) where I know she took time to sit and think about her behavior. Whatever, that party was beat...
So Ryan, Chloe, and I visit the home of the one and only Jenkin Williams. Jenkin is one of the coolest cats in Yuma. With a joke for every situation and Trombone solo to match, Jenkin and I found friendship as co-star players on our U-12 soccer team, coached by Jenkin's own father. Also, we both attend the U of A. Anyway, Jenkin is leaving to serve as an LDS missionary in the arctic regions of Guatemala. We'll miss him and his uncanny knowledge of mormon lore. He's also brown.
Besides that, we just chilled at Jenkin's with Amy Webb, a promising young debutante with an eye for fashion and a body for it too; Chanda Crossman, the bubbliest of comedy connoisseurs and sharp-tongued humor; and Zac Baker......... who I don't know that well, but he's super chill, pretty funny, and we'll throw eye candy in there for good measure. It was a good time.
But alas, plans for Captain America had been made, and I am not one to cancel such a pressing engagement. It was pretty good. But the real treat was the MIND BLOWING TEASER after the credits. Prepare to be avenged people...
After the movie, other plans were shattered to bits as the above group had then decided to also go see Captain America at the next showing. I was not about to "relive the excitement" so soon. So we kinda came home and fell apart. The end. I'm excited for Jenkin's farewell tomorrow though. He's such a boss.
Deuces.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Road Trip!
Today was a whirlwind of a day. Chloe arrived as planned around 10:00 a.m. and by then I had completed two hours of lounging, oatmeal consuming, and... TEETH BRUSHING!!! Fine, I brushed my teeth after Chloe got there, but it happened. I didn't have to work today, so I decided to be productive on my own and fill out some scholarship forms and all was going well until.... "Please list three non-familial references who have known you for at least a year that we may contact." Ugh, I feel like I have no one to rely on for this responsibility, ever. I would prefer the classic "Write a 500 word essay that describes you" project over wrestling 3 acquaintances into giving me an outstanding affirmation of greatness. But what are you going to do? But this is all part of a bigger issue. I'm talking about horrible federal financial decisions.
So this school year, tuition has been raised once more, which is no big deal. I realize that I'm getting a world-class education (in my opinion at least, and let's face it, mine is the only one that matters) for practically nothing. But what really grinds my gears is that one of my scholarships was federally funded. Yep, you guessed it, not only is tuition up, financial aid is down. It's like, they will stop at nothing to make sure I go broke. I guess it's no big deal, I'll just miss the days when I was actually being paid to go to school...
Anyway, Chloe's interview at the bookstore went well. I'm pretty optimistic about it.
But then, the unthinkable happened. So I had this meeting to go to today because I volunteered to be on a committee that is going to put together special events for "away" football games at the UA. It quickly became apparent that I am the only student representative on this hodge podge team of misfits and that I'm pretty much only there to talk to my "friends" and validate these people's GREAT ideas. It wouldn't be a problem if they're ideas weren't so.... mediocre and predictable. They were just like "we'll set up T.V.'s in The Cellar and sell finger foods and have a spinny wheel thing!" I was like, "DUDE! Awesome, and then I can drive my mom's minivan and bring my middle school brother and all his friends!" Maybe I'm bitter because they shot down my extravagantly decadent master plan of opening up Gallagher Theater to show the game on a screen where the size of the players, is the actual size of the players and it's right next to the food court where real food is served and they can just offer specials on those game days ya know? It'll be like being at the stadium, but with air conditioning and modestly priced consumables! But then the head leader guy basically said "Haha, keep it down lil' guy." And I don't really hate people, but I disliked this guy from the moment he showed up to the meeting late and decided he was going to crack awful jokes and and laugh obnoxiously. I'm pretty sure I was the only person who didn't laugh at all.
Not to keep rambling, but this all stems from a more general disdain for bureaucratic chit chat that usually happens at any type of meeting with "The Bobs." We seriously went over about five minutes of material in forty-five minutes. But I was on the clock so whatever. You know what I'm talking about though right? Just listen to politicians like when they give their gut wrenching five minute rally and you're like, "Ah yeah, let's do it!" But then 30 seconds later you're like, wait... he said everything without actually saying anything. That jerk!
By this time in the day, I had already decided to journey on home to Yuma with Chloe because I don't work again until Monday. So that's exactly what I did and we sang and danced the whole way. BTW, both of us are horrible singers, and less-than-flattering dancers, but we bring charisma to the table and that is what gets people energized. Also, good singing and dancing...
So I will be lighting up the stage here in Yuma through the weekend and I need to get my beauty rest, so we'll talk again later.
Deuces.
So this school year, tuition has been raised once more, which is no big deal. I realize that I'm getting a world-class education (in my opinion at least, and let's face it, mine is the only one that matters) for practically nothing. But what really grinds my gears is that one of my scholarships was federally funded. Yep, you guessed it, not only is tuition up, financial aid is down. It's like, they will stop at nothing to make sure I go broke. I guess it's no big deal, I'll just miss the days when I was actually being paid to go to school...
Anyway, Chloe's interview at the bookstore went well. I'm pretty optimistic about it.
But then, the unthinkable happened. So I had this meeting to go to today because I volunteered to be on a committee that is going to put together special events for "away" football games at the UA. It quickly became apparent that I am the only student representative on this hodge podge team of misfits and that I'm pretty much only there to talk to my "friends" and validate these people's GREAT ideas. It wouldn't be a problem if they're ideas weren't so.... mediocre and predictable. They were just like "we'll set up T.V.'s in The Cellar and sell finger foods and have a spinny wheel thing!" I was like, "DUDE! Awesome, and then I can drive my mom's minivan and bring my middle school brother and all his friends!" Maybe I'm bitter because they shot down my extravagantly decadent master plan of opening up Gallagher Theater to show the game on a screen where the size of the players, is the actual size of the players and it's right next to the food court where real food is served and they can just offer specials on those game days ya know? It'll be like being at the stadium, but with air conditioning and modestly priced consumables! But then the head leader guy basically said "Haha, keep it down lil' guy." And I don't really hate people, but I disliked this guy from the moment he showed up to the meeting late and decided he was going to crack awful jokes and and laugh obnoxiously. I'm pretty sure I was the only person who didn't laugh at all.
Not to keep rambling, but this all stems from a more general disdain for bureaucratic chit chat that usually happens at any type of meeting with "The Bobs." We seriously went over about five minutes of material in forty-five minutes. But I was on the clock so whatever. You know what I'm talking about though right? Just listen to politicians like when they give their gut wrenching five minute rally and you're like, "Ah yeah, let's do it!" But then 30 seconds later you're like, wait... he said everything without actually saying anything. That jerk!
By this time in the day, I had already decided to journey on home to Yuma with Chloe because I don't work again until Monday. So that's exactly what I did and we sang and danced the whole way. BTW, both of us are horrible singers, and less-than-flattering dancers, but we bring charisma to the table and that is what gets people energized. Also, good singing and dancing...
So I will be lighting up the stage here in Yuma through the weekend and I need to get my beauty rest, so we'll talk again later.
Deuces.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Not Again...
This morning was nothing short of miraculous. I had to go to work at 7:45 right? So of course, I set my trusty old alarm to 6:30 in the "A em" and then my back-up for 7:00 when I decide to snooze. It's fool-proof! But then, my phone (which doubles as my personal assistant) decides, "ya know what Bert? I'ma take the wheel on this one. No big deal," and proceeds to make an executive decision to only allow the 7:00 alarm to go off. Not enough time for me to get in my "tip top" for the day so obviously I have to cut something from my routine. Yes, you're right, I didn't brush my teeth this morning, and no amount of mint flavored gum can compensate for that...
Fast forward to work...
So my current project at work is to compare candy prices from a prospective vendor with the current prices we get from good old Sam's Club. It's not so bad except the price book from the other vendor is and 88 page Excel file. I know what you're thinking, "Bert, that's not so bad, you just go ahead and ctrl+F on through that file and you'll be done with those 160 items in no time!" Haha! You're right! Oh yeah, they don't use any sort of consistent naming convention so HERSHEY is sometimes HRSHY and NESTLE is can be found under the NSTL abbreviation and of course, M&M is shortened to M&M. Yeah, it's just so tedious. So I worked on that for the entire five hours of work and got about half-way done. Just for your knowledge, Sam's Club is cheaper... always.
Okay, you got me. I didn't work on that the entire five hours. I have this fabulous friend named Steena who works in the General Books department and we just put on different characters throughout the day. Today was mostly british high society, but we just do random dance parties and short "mini-scenes" filled with drama-drenched excitement. It gets me through the day.
At least half of it, because I get off at one o'clock. Cut to my apartment...
So when I get home, first think I do is boil a pot of water and cleanse my pores... no just kidding. But that's not a bad idea, maybe when I get the whole teeth-brushing thing down permanently, we can add that to my regimen. I do indeed boil that water however. If you must know, hot dogs, mac n' cheese, and assorted pastas with red sauce are major dietary staples. After I ate, the afternoon consisted of MW2 and extended jam sessions with my beloved red "axe". But guess what...
CHLOE IS COMING TO VISIT ME TOMORROW!!!
Well, she's coming to Tucson for a job interview so she isn't some jobless hippie when she moves here for school in the fall. FYI Chloe is my younger sister and we get along just swimmingly. And speaking of swimming, the Tucson weather is teasing me with it's storminess, yet lack of torrential downpour.
Fine, we'll close this up. Volleyball tonight was a blast, whenever it was my turn to serve I would hunch over like I was about to start a speed-skating race, toss up the vb, and smack it with the force of a man who works out often and has nice biceps! It looked beautiful... all the way up until it hit the net or landed out of bounds. No matter though, because I would just make up for it in regular field play by taking care of my position, Ashley's position, and whomever else's position I would darn well please at the time (Ashley, in this case refers to one Ashley Esser, a young, hip debutante with her own brand of spunk who enjoys indie music, men she can't have, and occasionally being asked to flash other young drunk women when floating down the Salt River). She's a great friend.
I don't work again until Monday, so I will strive for adventures to liven up this blog. Sorry for boring you with this one....
-Bert
I DID IT!
I was recently told by a few friends that if I made a blog, they would follow it. Normally I don't care what other people think (I know, I know "but Bert, these are your friends, you've got to have some type of concern for their individual opinions. That's how people know you trust and appreciate them....") I just don't. But then, I noticed that each of them were using their enthusiastic voice like, "I'd follow because your funny, not because I like you" and that gets to me every time. Basically, if you compliment me on my sense of humor, you're my new BFF. So here it is my first blog post. Let's get you introduced to my life!!!
So I attend the University of Arizona during normal business hours (e.g. the fall and spring semesters) on academic scholarships mostly. But right now, since it's summer (if you didn't know that, stop reading this blog for a second, back away from the computer and go outside.... yeah, it feels like Satan just crashed a disco party in your oven doesn't it? okay back to me now!) I'm working at the UA BookStores on campus. It's a really chill job, but I deal with people so there's always that guy who just has to interrupt my internet surfing so I can sell him last season's basketball uniform. Also, great news! I think that my supervisor no longer thinks that I'm mentally slow. Also, bad news! She now knows that I'm beyond competent at using computers and universal software so she has started to give me projects to do... more on this later.
So outside of work right now, I spend my time practicing guitar, practicing fake guitar (Rock Band0, and shooting the pants off n00bs in MW2. But don't write me off as a loser just yet, my Xbox Live account runs out in two days and I won't be renewing! Also, if there's still doubt, I usually only play MW2 with my friends from Yuma (which is my hometown) and Jacob who lives in Phoenix. All of these people I know in "real life" and we just talk and catch up while we "get our soldier on" as they say.
I actually started this thing kinda late and have to go open up the store in the morning so I'm going to just take a quick 6 hour nap, go to work, and maybe get back to this tomorrow mmk?
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