Start your morning right; With news from Bert!

Dear Fawn & Friends,

I was hiding in the kitchen under one of the counters.  It's tough to think of pranks though.  I'm overdue for another one...  Hmmm.  I'll figure something out.

Elder Craig does speak English.  That's all he knows.  I was joking.  He HATES French Canada.  Some kinda political situation or whatever that's going on over there... I dunno.  We have real issues over here in 'MERICA!  He's pretty funny though.  Everyone gives him a hard time about Canada and whenever people are like "Ah yes, Canada: America's hat" he's like "Ah yes, America: Canada's jock strap."  Lulz.

Ugh, no.  The Spanish front is very lacking.  I don't study the language at all (cause it's not my assignment) so I'm not really getting better.  I only ran into one Spanish lady this week though and she said "otra dia" which roughly translates (in missionary Spanish) to "No thanks, don't ever come back."  What a concise language...

Shay has been having back pain and is planning to deliver in about a week so, yeah.  No baptism this week.  We'll have to wait a while 'til after her recovery.  At first I was a little bummed, but it really was not going to be a spiritual experience for her if we made it happen this week.  I know it's for the best.  I'm over it.... for now.

WHAT!?  Temple cleaning sounds like a BL-IZZ-AST!  Way to go you two.

OMGawsh, don't take the book suggestion so seriously.  I know everyone's busy, I'm just sayin', if you're looking for a something to read, you can't go wrong with that book.  Don't feel like you have to do it.

Umm, I actually didn't have any knowledge of a solar eclipse.  You'll have to get me pictures.  That's hilarious that Doug went through all that trouble though and then the clouds just went ahead and made sure that you guys wouldn't damage your eyes.

Oh yeah, for sure.  Memorial Day this year is going to be incredible!!!  A bunch of us from the office are cashing in our vacation time and headed down to Florida for the weekend.  We're just going to chill on Miami beach with the sun and some dranks.

No.  We'll probably be tracting.

So anyway, it just sounds like you're having no fun with golf because of legitimate reasons.  If you were to do ANYTHING with three other people that you have done maybe a few times in your life and the others had clung to as a major activity since elementary school days so that you sucked in comparison; yeah, that would be no fun.  Stick with it.

Well, we tried like a bajillion times to see a bunch of our investigators this week, but alas, only Shay was available so  that was disheartening.  Especially cause the week started off so magnificently, and then... poop.

So on Friday, it was like 80 degrees outside all day and then out of nowhere, in the evening, HAILSTORM!  I was like, "WHAT!?"  Chattanooga is too hardcore for me.  He's wild and unpredictable.  I can't live my life in fear like that.  It was a good thing we had a ride in the evening cause we had been on our bikes all morning.

I forgot my camera again, but next week fo sho!  I will take care of it.  They're not that great anyway.  You guys can wait.

As you can see, this week was absolutely uneventful.  We helped a friend of my Ward Mission Leader move out of her home this weekend cause she was going through a nasty divorce.  That was a strange experience for missionaries.  It helped me realize two things though, nobody cares about your stuff like you do, and mormons know how to move, other people just don't.  Anyway, when we got there, I thought the husband was there as well.  I was like, I'm not so sure about this Bro. Beckstrand.  We need to get the HECK outta hurr (<-- cause Chattanooga makes you gangsta).  But it wasn't him.  We were in the clear.

Okay, well also, earlier this week Bro Beckstrand and I went on splits and taught a lesson to this person, and it was a nervous experience for me cause the person is an excommunicated member that served a mission and is looking to be rebaptized (WHICH IS WONDERFUL).  Anyway, for a couple of segways, I mumbled 'I guess' under my breath and he called me out on it at the end of the lesson, of which I was grateful for.  It was nothing bad though, I wasn't like "i guess the BofM is the Word of God" or "I guess Jesus is the Savior of the World."  It was like "i guess, we'll move on to..."  But whatever...  Anyway, Bro. Beckstrand and Elder Craig split the next evening and went to a Ward Council meeting with the Stake Presidency.  So I get back and join the meeting with them about 45 minutes after it started and at the end of the meeting, the 1st counselor in the Stake Presidency is like "Let's not be like that one missionary when inviting families to ward conference next week and be him-hawing and "well, I guess maybe if you'd think about possibly kind of coming... that'd be great..."

HE WAS TALKING ABOUT ME!!! BRO. BECKSTRAND HAD TOLD THEM ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE EARLIER AND EVERYONE KNEW IT WAS ME (and they laughed at the expression of shock I had on my face: it was that same expression that I used when Bishop accidentally invited me to Relief Society that one time in sacrament meeting on the stand after graduating seminary)!  'I guess' that's what happens when you pray for humility...

Haha, everyone afterward was like "I have no idea what he was talking about, because Bro. Beckstrand said it was such a positive experience and he had twisted it to somehow negative."  So yeah, the 1st Counselor just totally misunderstood the experience.  No big deal.  I'm over it.

Anyway, I love you all and miss you lots.  Talk to you later.

Love,
Elder Grabinger

P.S.  My district leader got some musical instruments approved for us, so technically I can haz a guitar now!  But I don't really want to carry one around and stuff so I'm probs not going to get one.  I might get a ukelele.  But I don't really want to be distracted.  I dunno.  Just thought I'd let everyone know.  Sorry...?